Born in Cleveland, OH I was raised in a small suburb where you knew every family on your street, went to school & became friends with all the kids on your street. It was a wonderful way to grow up & I long for my son to experience the safety, the freedom, the lifelong friendships I did that’s so difficult to find in the current world in which we live today.
I’m # 3 of 4 daughters; I have 2 older sisters & 1 younger. We had a very difficult family life after our parents divorced..one of the first families to break up in a predominantly small town, Roman Catholic community. The divorce was very traumatic for me personally as I was only 5 & took years of extremely hard work, putting myself in therapy at 16 years old & continuing my search for healing my wounds over the next 10 years of my life. Professional counseling did indeed help me, but I still carried scars so painful I learned how to bury them. Confronting these scars from the past as well as each additional wound as time passed was a huge breakthrough for me. There’s only one key to that door & that key was my endless faith that God was always with me. Letting Him in was the battle but once I did, the instant & continuing healing & changing of who I was compared to who I am now is nothing short of astounding..I am the recipient of many miracles, including numerous recoveries of life-threatening situations. I was actually clinically dead once not many years ago & I did see “the light” that you hear of in the media of those who had died but were resuscitated by medical means. I’m blessed to know that Jesus is the One who saved me because I not only saw Him, I met Him. Believe me, call me crazy, it’s your choice. I speak the truth, mine and am living The Truth, His. Stay with me to learn my truth..I am a walking Miracle.
The experiences of my childhood had a huge effect on how I felt about myself, the choices I made & my dating relationships, my career choice and intense vow to only marry once, my true love & best friend, the man who will be a great Father to our children..I wanted my OWN family, determined not to repeat the mistakes of my parents, to be the best wife & mother I could be.
I decided, through my strong instinct for survival & goal of graduating from college, to leave everything & everyone I knew at 16 in Ohio, and literally overnight, called my Dad to come get me from suburban Philadelphia, PA so I could begin a new life for myself. I graduated from high school, put myself through college, had a job secured before graduation at a CPA firm as I majored in Accounting, minored in Psychology.
I traveled, worked hard, played hard. I changed jobs, working in many industries utilizing my Accounting skills: public CPA firm, private firm, entertainment industry, facilities management, software company..working, learning new skills, building my resume. I met my husband, Chris, at one of these places of employment. We got married in 1995 and our beautiful son Noah was finally born in 1999.
The 3 of us moved from what had become my hometown of 28 years to Harrisburg, PA last year in August, 2011. There were many stressful factors that required us to make what I considered a very big move, as both Noah & I were leaving all of our family & friends to start a new chapter in the Millar family book in the hometown of my husband. He’d been away from all his family for well over 20 years; Noah would be guaranteed the excellent level of education his incredibly gifted mind needed in a safe environment. I knew this move was necessary & would bring about great change, wonderful, welcome change! I did not know the biggest change would be the death of my marriage of 17 years in a new town where I know nobody and that I would become a single Mom.
It is nearing the end of October; soon the date will arrive that will mark 14 months of living in this new town that is so reminiscent of my childhood town in Ohio, and 5 months of separation that will end in divorce. I find it hard to believe it’s only been 5 months since Chris moved out because it seems longer…that is how vastly, how quickly, I’ve grown, changed, healed. I am exactly where I am supposed to be geographicaly, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am excited to wake up every day, and keep my morning appointment with God early, before Noah awakens, to give thanks for all of my endless blessings, to pray for those in need, to ask in what capacity am I needed today? I always receive an answer. I have peace, contentment in my heart. Of course, my capacity for giving and receiving Love simply grows all on it’s own, every day.
I am one incredibly lucky, grateful, thankful woman. Thank you for reading this as I begin to chronicle my past, present and future…eyes seeing, ears listening, heart & soul loving.