Recovering From Lupus Flare Day 17


Hello everyone, here I am in bed still but it isn’t a hospital bed, for that I am very grateful. Recovering from lupus flare or still in it is hard to say. I can usually tell the difference without endless labs, the human guinea pig we all feel like with each new drug “to try to see” if THIS one will work, or the hamster running on his spinning wheel happily..I’d be happy, elated to have my life back. All of this time gives me much to think about, would love to write about, but I don’t have the strength to write and each letter typed now hurts my badly swollen fingers.

I’m sure anyone that doesn’t know me will look at my picture & think, she looks tired but not seriously ill. Everyone else will see; my hair no longer full because half of it is now gone; the weight loss obvious in my face. The subtle signs only Lupies & Doctors see: swollen or puffy eyes means kidney issues still; the paleness of my skin underneath the red patches; how tired I am physically and every level. Tired & pain so agonizing you think to yourself as you cry yet again “I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t do this anymore”. Those thoughts of despair are normal but don’t make the flare disappear; they can harm your have to keep your faith & hold on. Accept your circumstances & never stop believing you will push through. God works in mysterious ways, and the story below is one of my daily devotionals I receive in email. I was in a dark place until I read this email; upon completion, I was smiling brilliantly by mouth, heart, soul. I know many blessings are coming, one recent that has changed my life forever, never to be the same again, the smile on my face the joy of this miracle brings matching the one in my heart. Never give up; Hold on tight because your blessings are on the way. Enjoy the story! ~Jennifer~

Loaves and Fishes
“‘Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?'” (John 6:9 )Remember the heartwarming story of how Jesus took the loaves, broke them, multiplied the fish and gave everybody lots to eat with lots left over? Jesus even said, “Let nothing be wasted.” They gathered baskets full of bread so nothing would be thrown away. I think about that story when I watch a Christian go through tough times yet hang on to God’s grace. Maybe you’re one of them. Day-to-day heartache is your routine and problems seem to have a permanent place in God’s plan for you. Yet you’re faithful –or should I say, you hold onto God’s faithfulness. What God is doing with you is like what He did with the barley loaves and fish. Jesus broke the bread. And out of the brokenness He multiplied the blessing so that thousands would be nourished. Yes, it hurts to be broken. But sometimes that’s part of His plan, especially if He wants to use you to feed others. It’s a way your faithfulness can be multiplied. Out of your brokenness, the blessing can be bestowed on more than you ever dreamed possible. And here’s the thing: If you’ve been broken by the hand of God, you can be certain nothing will be wasted. God will gather up and use all the hurt; not a bit of it will be discarded or cast aside.

That little boy with the small loaves and fish must have been amazed to watch Jesus do such marvelous things through his little lunch. Be sure that God knows what little you have to offer. Is it a bit of obedience? God will multiply it. Is it a weak prayer? A small word of testimony? A feeble effort to encourage others in their pain? I promise you (no, He promises you) that He will expand your offering. It will not be wasted.

Prayer: Brokenness is something You know all about, Jesus, for Your body was broken for me. Today remind me of how close You are to me in my brokenness and soothe my heart with Your nearness. Multiply the blessing to many through me. Blessings, Joniand Friends


7 thoughts on “Recovering From Lupus Flare Day 17

  1. I’m a fellow lupus sufferer in the middle of a flare, and I love this line: “the human guinea pig we all feel like with each new drug ‘to try to see’ if THIS one will work.” <— I'm there right now.

    I wish you luck! Thanks for the uplifting story 🙂

    • Hello Sister Warrior, I’m sorry to hear you’re also flaring..seems like we all are, & badly, since the holidays. I’m glad you liked the hamster line, just keep seeing that little guy running through my mind! Frustrated by meds, side effects, you know the drill unfortunately. Thank you for reading, I’ll make sure to return the support, after next nap of course! God Bless & hug to you dear! We’ll win this round! And next…

  2. hi Jenn, I also am in a flare. I have been in bed for a couple of weeks now ,Mews meds again ,but my paper thin skin is just opening on my breast and abdomen . Mine is not from wt. loss but a discoid skin flare .I also have a lg. spot. On my face. I have left my house only once in almost three weeks , with Gail .She has been here a few times, I have his this from Peter so far just barley as we saw each other the day I knew I was going into a flare.We are supposed to meet this wk end, but frankly I don’t know how. I am so sorry for your much worse and extended period of illness. I despise this disease . I pray for you to get better. I know you have said you have lost a lot of hair but you still are so beautiful . Such a beautiful women you are in every way. As you well know I am no writer , but just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you, a d even in sickness, Peter and I are stronger than ever. We are beginning our third year as friends and 2nd as lovers. Time flys . I love you always Tap CC

    Sent from my iPad

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